Things Your Partner Should Never Say to You in Baby’s First Two Months

1. “Don’t you have any sexy nursing bras?”
2. “If you didn’t get the laundry done, what did you do all day?”
3. “Really? The baby was up five times last night? I didn’t hear him.”
4. (five minutes after a feed) “I think the baby’s hungry.”
5. “What do you mean ‘do I have any protection?’ “
6. “Wow, I can’t believe how good Katie Holmes looked  just five weeks after Suri was born.”
7. “Do you really need another donut?”
8. “I had a hard day at work, I need some time to relax.”
9. “When do you want to start trying for another.”
10. (while you’re pumping) “Moo!”