Why drinking til you drop sucks as a mom…

eye-743409_640There I found myself on Saturday face hovering perilously close to the edge of the toilet bowl. Let me tell you, red wine may be a more sophisticated choice going down, but coming up, you’re much better off with beer! All this to celebrate my good friend’s 40th (from all accounts she was in worse shape than me which is as it should be). And here is why moms everywhere regret the day they had one vino too many:

  1. If you puke on the car ride home (with a sober driver of course) chances are your not only going to be covered in puke, but also that you will be entirely responsible for cleaning up said puke the next day (double puke)!
  2. Excessive alcohol can make you feel like a rock star until the day after when you discover the entire thing has been captured on video and, in fact, your muffin top is out of tempo with the rest of your “rockin” body.
  3. Your kids don’t give a flying f%@k about your hangover and just want your undivided attention all day even though all you want to do is lie on the sofa (likely with puke spray in your hair) while you wait for the icepick to be removed from your brain.
  4. Your sofa-bound state means no one is picking up after the kiddies so by the end of the day (just as you’re starting to feel human again), your house looks like a tornado has just whipped through it…
  5. Though puking may be reminiscent of your 19-year-old self, you’re not in fact 19. Drunk and over 40 is more sad than sexy :(.
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